Welcome to my Blog!

Hello everyone! My name is Madi. I am currently living in San Marcos, Texas attending the best university ever. GO BOBCATS. San Marcos quickly became home, but I am from a small town about 45 minutes south of Houston called Texas City.

I am a transfer student at Texas State University. I came from a community college in Galveston. The transition became a little tough. Trying to find my place, missing home, and balancing school became difficult. I started to experience anxiety which then lead to depression. I was a firm believer in persevering. I did not and was not going to seek help. I knew my mighty self would be able to overcome whatever my mind was telling me. Boy, was I wrong.

My experience felt lonely and dark. I was ashamed that I, someone who has been viewed as being such a strong woman, was experiencing something that was tearing down my identity. I lost who I was. That strong woman became timid and alone. She believed she was weak-minded.

Eventually, I started to get so anxious my body would go numb and at times I have fainted from this. Not knowing at the time they were panic attacks. I thought I was alone in this feeling. I felt as if I was drowning in a pool and everyone around me was watching. That feeling is insane and so hard to explain, so for months I kept quiet about my struggles. That was until I experienced a severe panic attack while working. Thankfully, a coworker noticed something was wrong with me and almost forced me to talk about it. I knew she had struggled with anxiety and depression so that allowed me to open up. She talked to me about medication, mindfulness, therapy, self-care and much more. I was so against medication it was unreal. I did not want to be 21 years old taking medication every day. I eventually came to my senses and realized temporarily, that was my best option. That became the best decision I have made.

So, my story is how I came up with the idea of this blog. I want others to know you are not alone, and it is okay to struggle with this.