In the beginning of my journey with Annie (my anxiety), I was at a loss about where to even start. I had no clue what was going to help me. Truthfully, I thought it was the end of the world; there was no recovering. As I mentioned in a previous post, I had a friend that had experienced anxiety and recommended an app called Headspace until I could get professional health. She told me it came highly recommended by her therapist and that it truly helped her.

When I first started learning coping mechanisms, I hated breathing exercises. I felt they gave me more anxiety than I had before. I think a lot of that was I did not want to accept that I had anxiety.

Headspace helps in so many ways. It guided me through meditation and mindfulness. Its primary goal is to teach someone how to meditate. Meditation has helped reduce stress, increase focus, and improve sleep and decrease anxiety. Meditation and mindfulness go hand in hand. It helps connect with the physical world again which before Headspace, I had no clue how to do. It was truly a miracle worker. I am now reaching my year anniversary with Annie and I still use Headspace to help me get through anxious times. I highly recommend for anyone who struggle with anxiety, depression or just want to connect with themselves or the world a little more. Below I will attach a link to their website.

https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app

Breathing techniques are easy ways to help reduce anxiety in the moment. When I first started to experience anxiety, I always said focusing on breathing gave me more anxiety than I started with. I truly thought that was true and maybe it is for some people, but for me it was just finding the right breathing techniques for me. I found 3 techniques that have worked. One of them I am still on the fence about because I have allergies so it’s kind of hard to do.

The first technique is called pursed lip breathing or resistance breathing. This one is by far my favorite. I find this one the most relaxing. You breathe in for about 4-5 seconds and then exhale with pursed lips until all of the air is out. I repeat this about 5 times. If I feel I still need it then I continue until I am calm.

The second technique is called equal breathing. This one is very simple. You inhale the same amount of time. So you inhale six seconds then exhale six seconds. This is all done through the nostrils.

The third technique is called alternate nostril breathing. This one is the technique that I am still on the fence about. It is sort of complicating to explain, but I will have a video attached below that demonstrates the technique.

You want to make sure during these breathing practices that you tune out the people around you and try to connect with the physical world. Making sure you are in a comfortable position and if you can be, in comfy clothes. Sweatpants always make me feel better.

As we all know, the Corona Virus has shifted our lives in more ways than one. Everyone has compromised their lives to keep themselves safe during this pandemic. Many people including myself who struggle daily with anxiety and depression have suffered severely from this pandemic. Keeping myself active is something that has always helped me. Allowing myself to be surrounded by people who bring a positive spirit, was a tremendous help in my battle with anxiety. All in a matter of weeks it was taken away. The question is, how am I and everyone else who struggles with this supposed to make it through? The ADAA has given many suggestions that almost feel silly. They aren’t actually silly but it feels like this is all a joke. Just when things were starting to look up for me, BOOM, CORONAVIRUS.

There are a few things that have and have not helped me during this lockdown. I am hoping that some of the things I share will help those who struggled and continue to struggle. Here are the do’s and don’t’s of the COVID-19 lockdown:

Do’s

• Make a schedule
  • Not every minute of the day needs to be occupied by an activity. It is giving yourself structure that is helpful.
• Change of mindset
  • Doing this will help the burden of being on lockdown. Saying to yourself “I finally have time to catch up on my favorite tv show”, “This lockdown has given me more time to spend with my family”, or “Now that I have time, I can really learn how to practice mindfulness.” instead of saying “I am just stuck inside all day”.

Don’t’s

• Do not allow yourself to sit and do nothing all day.
  • This includes; laying in bed all day, drowning yourself in social media, watching tik toks all day (guilty as charged). Do not throw a day away because of this lockdown.
• Avoid obsessing over endless Coronavirus coverage.
  • Drowning yourself in the news regarding the Coronavirus is NOT healthy. It is important to know what is happening, but do not allow yourself to obsess over this. It will only bring you more anxiety.
• Do not panic buy everything in the store
  • The grocery stores are an essential business. They will no close. Plan ahead and buy the things you need for your home. Buying all of the toilet paper because your anxiety is telling you the stores will close is no help to you or the other people in need of these items. It will be okay even if it doesn’t feel like it.
  • Buying junk food in this is not the way to go. All the little Debbie snack are delicious, yes, but buy the carrots instead. Your body needs the healthy foods.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B96QPxtgOrJ/

This place is dark and scary. It seems like you are trapped for a life time. You are still able to go through your day to day life but almost feeling emotionless. It is a weird feeling to live every day but not feel alive. It is a feeling that is so hard to explain. You find yourself lashing out and not realizing until you’ve pushed everyone away. The famous saying “There is a light at the end of the tunnel” feels so untrue.

My dark tunnel was pitch black. I felt numb almost every hour of every day. This feeling was something I became very good at hiding. I was a pro at not seeking help, a pro at feeling as though this will pass and I will get through it. Which was true, I would get through it. In no way shape or form was I going to get through this alone or without help.

My help was there and it did work. Not every day, but it did help. It consisted of medication, therapy, mindfulness, and even a little account on instagram with motivational quotes. Seems very silly but everything that was posted, I had felt at some point through my journey. Medication was trial and error. Luckily my journey with finding the one that worked best was short. I started with a low dose and realized I needed a little extra help. At first, I was totally against this. I hated the idea of being a 21 year old who had to take medicine everyday. After countless panic attacks in a public place, I decided I needed to swallow my pride and take the medicine. It was frustrating. It takes about 4-6 weeks for you to actually feel a difference. I felt like I was taking this for no reason. It became a thought of not even medicine can help me.

Unfortunately, harmful thoughts eventually came to mind. It was by far the scariest feeling ever. I had never thought I would feel that way. It was terrifying, and out of my control. I was lucky enough to have a doctor that cared for me enough to contact my roommate and the counseling center at my university. At the time, I was furious. I did not and was not going to go to the counseling center. Jokes on me, my roommate gave me no choice. We got in the car, with my mind saying we were not going and hers saying we were going no matter what I said. I changed my mind while on the road but I was still scared. What if someone saw me? What if I left feeling worse about myself? Which all became very true for me. I was given an “emergency appointment” which was so embarrassing for me. I hated that I even needed to seek help. In the appointment I had to fill out an emergency plan if in the event I ever felt like this again (which thank God I did not). The emergency plan did however make me feel worse about myself. I had to write down five people that I could go to if this happened again. I could only think of two. This was around the time I lost a few friends and my now ex-boyfriend. I just felt so unloveable. I was supposed to have five people and I couldn’t do that. I was so ashamed of who I was and left feeling worse about myself.

Although the tunnel may be pitch black and you feel like you are walking blindly, there is a light. It may not feel close, you may not be able to see it right now but it is there.

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Struggling with your mental health looks different for everyone. 😞 👉 Knowing HOW your mental health struggles impact YOU, will bring you self-awareness around how to best care for yourself during hard times. . 👉 What do you need when you are battling depression? What do you need when you are battling with your anxious thoughts? ( 🎨 by @crazyheadcomics )

A post shared by Self-Care Is For Everyone (@selfcareisforeveryone) on Sep 21, 2019 at 1:10pm PDT

Acceptance is the first step in living healthily with anxiety and depression. Acknowledging that yes, I do have anxiety, depression, or both and asking yourself “How am I going to live my life with this?”. You have to accept before anything changes.

Acceptance can be done by, mindfulness, consulting with a therapist or a primary care physician, or talking to your friends. Whatever way works for you. I personally had a conversation with a friend, then visited my primary care physician.

Avoiding the topic only makes it worse. Acting as if it does not exist can lead into toxic traits. Some of these traits can look like irritability, anger, mood swings, negativity, and creating a negative environment for those around you. The best thing for you and those present in your life is to accept that this is going on and communicate effectively how this is impacting your life. Once you have accepted this, living with it becomes much easier. It no longer controls you, you control it.

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self-acceptance is a bumpy beautiful journey 👼🏼~ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ tag your close friends to remind them of this! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @selfcare4yu ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #mentalhealthsupport #bodyimage #depressionandanxiety #depressionsupport #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthquotes #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthblogger #selflove #selflovequotes #selfcare #selfreminder #motivationalquotes #anxietyrelief #anxietyfighter #anxietyhelp #anxietysupport #selfcarequotes #anorexiafighter #recoveryquotes #depressionsupport #mindfullife #mentalhealthmatters #suicideprevention

A post shared by Self Care 4 you (@selfcare4yu) on Oct 4, 2019 at 12:38pm PDT

Hello everyone! My name is Madi. I am currently living in San Marcos, Texas attending the best university ever. GO BOBCATS. San Marcos quickly became home, but I am from a small town about 45 minutes south of Houston called Texas City.

I am a transfer student at Texas State University. I came from a community college in Galveston. The transition became a little tough. Trying to find my place, missing home, and balancing school became difficult. I started to experience anxiety which then lead to depression. I was a firm believer in persevering. I did not and was not going to seek help. I knew my mighty self would be able to overcome whatever my mind was telling me. Boy, was I wrong.

My experience felt lonely and dark. I was ashamed that I, someone who has been viewed as being such a strong woman, was experiencing something that was tearing down my identity. I lost who I was. That strong woman became timid and alone. She believed she was weak-minded.

Eventually, I started to get so anxious my body would go numb and at times I have fainted from this. Not knowing at the time they were panic attacks. I thought I was alone in this feeling. I felt as if I was drowning in a pool and everyone around me was watching. That feeling is insane and so hard to explain, so for months I kept quiet about my struggles. That was until I experienced a severe panic attack while working. Thankfully, a coworker noticed something was wrong with me and almost forced me to talk about it. I knew she had struggled with anxiety and depression so that allowed me to open up. She talked to me about medication, mindfulness, therapy, self-care and much more. I was so against medication it was unreal. I did not want to be 21 years old taking medication every day. I eventually came to my senses and realized temporarily, that was my best option. That became the best decision I have made.

So, my story is how I came up with the idea of this blog. I want others to know you are not alone, and it is okay to struggle with this.